An introverted oversharer overshares on Disney
Hello friends! I finally made it back to my Sunday evening Starbucks session, and let me tell you. I have lots of oversharing for you tonight. You're reading this right now which means you already know that I am an introverted oversharer. On its surface, that might seem like a paradox, but it is not. I've always been the blunt one in my group. Well, others call it bluntness. I call it speaking my truth when I feel like it. I feel like it more than most others would prefer. Basically, I suck at meaningless chit chat. If I have something on my mind, I want to talk about it. Since I recognize that's not usually a good idea, I tend to be quiet instead. If you can't say something nice and all... (here I use the word nice to include all topics that most people don't really want to talk about when you have 5 minutes to chat with kids around. For example, US immigration, Syria, homelessness, is Baby, It's Cold Outside actually offensive or a feminist anthem, why do people get pets they can't care for...you get the picture). Essentially, if I'm being quiet, it's because I'm thinking about things I'm pretty sure I should keep to myself.
Sometimes I'm quiet because I'm dealing with a personal issue that isn't solely my issue to share. If it's all about me, I'll type out some sentences and blast it out to the world or no one. Otherwise, it's not my story to tell so I don't tell it. Until now. Because y'all. My extroverted bottle up the feelings husband has said I can write about all the things. It might be the best Christmas present ever! I probably have one shot at this so I'll make it good.
Okay, here it goes. I went to Disney a few weeks ago, and while I was excited about it, I didn't talk about it too much until right before and right after, and usually only when asked. I admit I did slip it into conversation a few times. "Oh, let me check my calendar. I was off the grid last week at DISNEY WORLD without my kids." People love humble brags. It's their favorite.
But really, I didn't bring it up too much because most of my people weren't exactly thrilled with my vacation. By most people, I mean my family. Well, Tommy actually didn't care. The other kids did care, but I make their lives amazing so I didn't feel too guilty about leaving them behind for one week. Okay, It was Jon. Jon was not excited about this vacation for me. He wouldn't have said that to you if you asked, but it's true. He complained about this trip from its inception to the moment I left. He wanted to be happy for me, and I do appreciate the effort, but he never actually got to that point. He would have preferred I spent the money else where. He would have preferred to go with me instead. He would have preferred that I manage to do everything that needs to be done without it affecting his work schedule. And I get it. His work is important. It really is. His work pays the bills. His work also involves trips and a schedule that is difficult for me. For 51 weeks out of the year I arrange our world to fit his schedule. For 1 week, I said no. I needed a vacation, and this was the opportunity that presented itself.
I couldn't celebrate this exciting thing with the one person in the world I actually want to celebrate everything with, and that is my one regret for the trip.
"So why did you go?" is the question you might be asking yourself. I will tell you why. The short answer is, I tried to plan something for us this year and he put the kibosh on it. This year has been a tougher one while he worked towards a promotion. He tends to give an automatic yes to work which puts me in a bind sometimes. I know I'm not the only woman who's husband has a tendency to give too many yeses to work. I talk to too many of you. Believe me, I KNOW my husband is not special in this tendency. He does it out of a place of love. He really does. He wants to provide for us, and all that intention gets channeled into work. I suspect every wife will say those extra hours don't always earn enough money to pay the cost.
Ultimately, he can choose for himself how to spend his time. I do not expect him to make time for an anniversary celebration or extended family time out of obligation. He's a grown up. He will make his own choices whether I always agree with them or not. Somewhere along the way, I realized that I'm also a grown up and can make my own choices whether he always agrees with them or not. We can love and respect each other without giving up our individuality. We each have veto power, but it's supposed to be used sparingly.
And so. After unsuccessfully trying to plan an anniversary trip for us, a new opportunity presented itself. My friend and I have been trying to take a trip together for years. Our husbands keep taking this personally, but it's honestly not about them at all. My friend and I have certain interests that our husbands do not share. For example, we tried to go to Washington DC a few years ago. Our plan was to absorb all the art and history we could. Why? Because while we've both gone with our families to DC, we both ended up at the Air and Space Museum for entirely too long. Our husbands both loved it. Her guy used to be in the Air Force and mine still is. They love planes and machinery. I get it. We don't love planes and machinery so we wanted to have time to enjoy the Smithsonian Museum of Art. It didn't work out and we never went, but it was never about escaping our husbands and family. I'm not interested in running away from anyone. I want to to run to things and people. Sometimes I want to run towards sleep and mental space. It might look like running away, but it's not. Ultimately, I want to be a really great mom and wife. I can't do that if I'm exhausted and burned out.
I love my husband so much and actively choose him every single day. I really like my husband. Those things have proved to be an incredibly strong glue through some difficult times. My husband is the best of men. He loves us. He doesn't always show it well, but I've never doubted his intention. Ultimately, he is a man that loves Jesus with all his heart. I wish he'd give a few more nos to work and yeses to us, but that's for him to work out. As for me, I'll continue to make the best choices I can whether I get unanimous applause or not. This year, that best choice just so happened to include Disney.
Sometimes I'm quiet because I'm dealing with a personal issue that isn't solely my issue to share. If it's all about me, I'll type out some sentences and blast it out to the world or no one. Otherwise, it's not my story to tell so I don't tell it. Until now. Because y'all. My extroverted bottle up the feelings husband has said I can write about all the things. It might be the best Christmas present ever! I probably have one shot at this so I'll make it good.
Okay, here it goes. I went to Disney a few weeks ago, and while I was excited about it, I didn't talk about it too much until right before and right after, and usually only when asked. I admit I did slip it into conversation a few times. "Oh, let me check my calendar. I was off the grid last week at DISNEY WORLD without my kids." People love humble brags. It's their favorite.
But really, I didn't bring it up too much because most of my people weren't exactly thrilled with my vacation. By most people, I mean my family. Well, Tommy actually didn't care. The other kids did care, but I make their lives amazing so I didn't feel too guilty about leaving them behind for one week. Okay, It was Jon. Jon was not excited about this vacation for me. He wouldn't have said that to you if you asked, but it's true. He complained about this trip from its inception to the moment I left. He wanted to be happy for me, and I do appreciate the effort, but he never actually got to that point. He would have preferred I spent the money else where. He would have preferred to go with me instead. He would have preferred that I manage to do everything that needs to be done without it affecting his work schedule. And I get it. His work is important. It really is. His work pays the bills. His work also involves trips and a schedule that is difficult for me. For 51 weeks out of the year I arrange our world to fit his schedule. For 1 week, I said no. I needed a vacation, and this was the opportunity that presented itself.
I couldn't celebrate this exciting thing with the one person in the world I actually want to celebrate everything with, and that is my one regret for the trip.
"So why did you go?" is the question you might be asking yourself. I will tell you why. The short answer is, I tried to plan something for us this year and he put the kibosh on it. This year has been a tougher one while he worked towards a promotion. He tends to give an automatic yes to work which puts me in a bind sometimes. I know I'm not the only woman who's husband has a tendency to give too many yeses to work. I talk to too many of you. Believe me, I KNOW my husband is not special in this tendency. He does it out of a place of love. He really does. He wants to provide for us, and all that intention gets channeled into work. I suspect every wife will say those extra hours don't always earn enough money to pay the cost.
Ultimately, he can choose for himself how to spend his time. I do not expect him to make time for an anniversary celebration or extended family time out of obligation. He's a grown up. He will make his own choices whether I always agree with them or not. Somewhere along the way, I realized that I'm also a grown up and can make my own choices whether he always agrees with them or not. We can love and respect each other without giving up our individuality. We each have veto power, but it's supposed to be used sparingly.
And so. After unsuccessfully trying to plan an anniversary trip for us, a new opportunity presented itself. My friend and I have been trying to take a trip together for years. Our husbands keep taking this personally, but it's honestly not about them at all. My friend and I have certain interests that our husbands do not share. For example, we tried to go to Washington DC a few years ago. Our plan was to absorb all the art and history we could. Why? Because while we've both gone with our families to DC, we both ended up at the Air and Space Museum for entirely too long. Our husbands both loved it. Her guy used to be in the Air Force and mine still is. They love planes and machinery. I get it. We don't love planes and machinery so we wanted to have time to enjoy the Smithsonian Museum of Art. It didn't work out and we never went, but it was never about escaping our husbands and family. I'm not interested in running away from anyone. I want to to run to things and people. Sometimes I want to run towards sleep and mental space. It might look like running away, but it's not. Ultimately, I want to be a really great mom and wife. I can't do that if I'm exhausted and burned out.
I love my husband so much and actively choose him every single day. I really like my husband. Those things have proved to be an incredibly strong glue through some difficult times. My husband is the best of men. He loves us. He doesn't always show it well, but I've never doubted his intention. Ultimately, he is a man that loves Jesus with all his heart. I wish he'd give a few more nos to work and yeses to us, but that's for him to work out. As for me, I'll continue to make the best choices I can whether I get unanimous applause or not. This year, that best choice just so happened to include Disney.
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