I think people wouldn't like me as much if I had a better filter.
Hello, friends. So. We all have that thing or two that is our signature trait; the thing that people identify us with. I have two, but only one is applicable for today because someone said it to me this morning, and then I exhibited it this evening. People tell me that I tell the truth. Bluntly. Or that I say the things that they wish they could say. Some people admire it, but really, I just lack a filter. I see it as more of a fault, but there ya go. The thing is, I don't share nearly enough for me to feel all "transparent" or whatever the new buzzword is for today. I generally feel like I hide most of the things we're all supposed to hide.
And then I'll say something like I said tonight, and I think to myself "Oh. Yeah. That's why people say I'm blunt." This evening as I was talking to another mom, she asked me about homeschooling. She admitted she didn't know very much about it and it seemed overwhelming. Then she asked about testing and who's checking up on us, etc. I could have gone with a generic, safe answer that didn't really say anything, but instead, I spoke my truth: "I actually don't care about testing and don't find it to be very effective."
Well. You can imagine how that went over. If you can't, I'll tell you. Not well. It did not go over well. Then came the "Well, I just don't have the patience to homeschool." And then came the "It's hard enough helping them with their homework every day!"
Friends, let me tell you. In my head, the waif of a filter that I have was saying "Don't do it. Just stop! Don't say what you're thinking!" Obviously, I ignored the waifish filter because I was tired and had already blasphemed standardized testing. I plowed ahead with "If you're helping your child with homework every night, you're basically homeschooling. And we (homeschoolers) are definitely NOT more patient that anyone else." Another homeschool kid was in the room with me. She laughed at this one. It was a blessing that my own child was not in the room because she would have extolled all the ways that I am not patient with my kids.
And now, friends. Let me tell you all the ways I suck at homeschooling.
1. I sleep in. Every. Day. True, I stay up late because my husband works 2nd shift, but still. I do not get up early every morning to cook breakfast. There is no morning basket of read alouds and hymns. I have the book about how to do the perfect morning time, and I wish I did it, but it never actually happens.
2. My kid plays A LOT of Minecraft. He's getting adept at some skills that I am convinced are good for him, but still. Whenever I get distracted, he gets on the computer, and honestly, I don't even care that much.
3. I basically tell my kids what they need to get done each day and leave them to it. I don't do all the lessons and teaching. They do a lot on their own. We have lots of resources available, and I use a "do the next thing" approach. Do the next math lesson. Do the next handwriting page. Read the next book. Which book? I don't really care. Just pick one and read it.
4. I don't make them do enough chores. I should. I mean to. I tell them to. And then after a few weeks, they slack off, and I eventually just do it because I'm tired of dirty dishes. This is a parenting fail that will haunt them later in life.
5. Sometimes I wish we didn't homeschool because I wonder what it would be like to just be the mom.
6. I do not love homeschooling. I do it because it's obviously been the best thing for my kids and our family, but as #1-5 should have clued you in on by now, homeschooling is not my love. I love parts of it. I love my kids and don't want to rush through this slice of life. However, I also look forward to my second career once my kids older. Homeschooling is not the end all be all of my life, nor is it my identity.
Now that you're seriously questioning me as a person, let me tell you some ways that I'm a good homeschool mom.
1. I make sure they do the things. They can read. They can do math. They know where to find information when they have questions. #homeschoolsuccess
2. We do fun things. We do field trips. We do "just because we can" days. We get donuts sometimes because it just feels like the right thing to do.
3. My kids all talk to me. They want to tell me all the things. Sometimes I wish they'd condense the things into fewer words, but still. I know what's going on with them.
4. I put good people in their lives. I cannot and have no interest in being their only person. I make sure they have other adults in their lives.
5. They get to see their dad more. Since he works a different schedule, they'd never see him if they were in school. This way, we get to be a family even if our family meal is lunch instead of dinner.
Most of these things aren't really homeschooling things. They're just parenting things, and that's all homeschooling is. It's parenting. All. Day. Long. It's parenting with a side of reading and math lessons. Homeschoolers aren't special. We don't glow with a special dispensation of grace. We parent our kids the best we can just like any other parent. Sometimes we yell at our kids. Sometimes we hide in the bathroom. Sometimes we forget to brush our teeth, and we might rely on dry shampoo a little too much.
And sometimes this mom who happens to homeschool tells the truth a little too much. It's okay though. I know my people can handle it, and I know I'm a good mom. Plus, my oldest got a 94 on his precalculus test and has a job interview later this week so I'm feeling some validation today. =) #humblebrag
And then I'll say something like I said tonight, and I think to myself "Oh. Yeah. That's why people say I'm blunt." This evening as I was talking to another mom, she asked me about homeschooling. She admitted she didn't know very much about it and it seemed overwhelming. Then she asked about testing and who's checking up on us, etc. I could have gone with a generic, safe answer that didn't really say anything, but instead, I spoke my truth: "I actually don't care about testing and don't find it to be very effective."
Well. You can imagine how that went over. If you can't, I'll tell you. Not well. It did not go over well. Then came the "Well, I just don't have the patience to homeschool." And then came the "It's hard enough helping them with their homework every day!"
Friends, let me tell you. In my head, the waif of a filter that I have was saying "Don't do it. Just stop! Don't say what you're thinking!" Obviously, I ignored the waifish filter because I was tired and had already blasphemed standardized testing. I plowed ahead with "If you're helping your child with homework every night, you're basically homeschooling. And we (homeschoolers) are definitely NOT more patient that anyone else." Another homeschool kid was in the room with me. She laughed at this one. It was a blessing that my own child was not in the room because she would have extolled all the ways that I am not patient with my kids.
And now, friends. Let me tell you all the ways I suck at homeschooling.
1. I sleep in. Every. Day. True, I stay up late because my husband works 2nd shift, but still. I do not get up early every morning to cook breakfast. There is no morning basket of read alouds and hymns. I have the book about how to do the perfect morning time, and I wish I did it, but it never actually happens.
2. My kid plays A LOT of Minecraft. He's getting adept at some skills that I am convinced are good for him, but still. Whenever I get distracted, he gets on the computer, and honestly, I don't even care that much.
3. I basically tell my kids what they need to get done each day and leave them to it. I don't do all the lessons and teaching. They do a lot on their own. We have lots of resources available, and I use a "do the next thing" approach. Do the next math lesson. Do the next handwriting page. Read the next book. Which book? I don't really care. Just pick one and read it.
4. I don't make them do enough chores. I should. I mean to. I tell them to. And then after a few weeks, they slack off, and I eventually just do it because I'm tired of dirty dishes. This is a parenting fail that will haunt them later in life.
5. Sometimes I wish we didn't homeschool because I wonder what it would be like to just be the mom.
6. I do not love homeschooling. I do it because it's obviously been the best thing for my kids and our family, but as #1-5 should have clued you in on by now, homeschooling is not my love. I love parts of it. I love my kids and don't want to rush through this slice of life. However, I also look forward to my second career once my kids older. Homeschooling is not the end all be all of my life, nor is it my identity.
Now that you're seriously questioning me as a person, let me tell you some ways that I'm a good homeschool mom.
1. I make sure they do the things. They can read. They can do math. They know where to find information when they have questions. #homeschoolsuccess
2. We do fun things. We do field trips. We do "just because we can" days. We get donuts sometimes because it just feels like the right thing to do.
3. My kids all talk to me. They want to tell me all the things. Sometimes I wish they'd condense the things into fewer words, but still. I know what's going on with them.
4. I put good people in their lives. I cannot and have no interest in being their only person. I make sure they have other adults in their lives.
5. They get to see their dad more. Since he works a different schedule, they'd never see him if they were in school. This way, we get to be a family even if our family meal is lunch instead of dinner.
Most of these things aren't really homeschooling things. They're just parenting things, and that's all homeschooling is. It's parenting. All. Day. Long. It's parenting with a side of reading and math lessons. Homeschoolers aren't special. We don't glow with a special dispensation of grace. We parent our kids the best we can just like any other parent. Sometimes we yell at our kids. Sometimes we hide in the bathroom. Sometimes we forget to brush our teeth, and we might rely on dry shampoo a little too much.
And sometimes this mom who happens to homeschool tells the truth a little too much. It's okay though. I know my people can handle it, and I know I'm a good mom. Plus, my oldest got a 94 on his precalculus test and has a job interview later this week so I'm feeling some validation today. =) #humblebrag
You are my favorite. I think you were writing this for me.
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