Let's Throwback to Mother's Day!
Hello friends. I hope you've enjoyed your Mother's Day weekend. Yes, it's now Wednesday and the weekend is beyond over. What can I say? I've been extra busy with coordinating our CC practicum that's happening next week. In less than a month, I will be completely done with practicums and free to enjoy my summer. Still, I had thoughts from the weekend that I wanted to share so you get Throwback: Mother's Day Edition.
I don't know why I want to celebrate Mother's Day by completely disentangling myself from the very people that made me a mother, but that's what it is. I'll call it self-care. Now it's socially acceptable. I am no Ann Voskamp. She wrote a lovely thing about how she spends Mother's Day thinking about how we should more deeply appreciate that we get to love these people God put in our care. I mean, that's the goal. Yeah, I should do that. But also, I took a really good, hard nap on Saturday afternoon because my people are exhausting sometimes. They interrupt a solid majority of each thought and action of my day. And yes, I know C.S. Lewis said the interruptions aren't interruptions, they're real life. I dare say C.S. Lewis didn't have a child waiting outside his bathroom to ask if he can build a basketball goal out of cardboard. So at the end of my mother's day weekend, I'm feeling refreshed because I got some large chunks of time by myself to do what I want.
What do I do with large chunks of time, my friends? It means I bought a clothes hamper for my bathroom because seriously. Jon and I have been married for 17.5 years, and somehow we never got around to buying a clothes hamper. We've thrown our clothes in a pile in the corner of the bathroom for nearly two decades as if we're animals. Now we have a lovely basket. At Jon's very first attempt, his clothes made it halfway in and were hanging over the side. I gave him side-eye for that until I looked closer and realized my shirt was also hanging halfway out. You can give animals a basket, but you can't make them use it correctly.
Mother's Day morning is always a little sticky because it's a Sunday morning. Church people know that an average Sunday morning can have extra tension as we try to get everyone out the door looking presentable so we can fake our ideal family look for the next two hours. You know how it goes. One kid starts looking for his shoes when everyone else is walking out the door. Another kid is bemoaning the fact that she didn't have time to brush her hair in the two hours she's been awake. Kids are bickering in the car. One kid is extra nitpicky with me and everyone else. Two kids quietly shove each other to get to the seat next to mine in church. And what do I hear as we go through this charade of a perfect family? "Happy Mother's Day!" times one thousand. So now I can't even give my kids the look they deserve to squash the bickering because I have to pull out my inner Mary Poppins and say "Thanks! Aren't they such blessings?" Okay, I didn't say that. Apparently my inner Mary Poppins was not having it so my inner Okayest Mom said, "Thanks! I'm ready for this day to be over." Not even kidding. That's what I said to our pastor. I'm not sure he actually heard me, or if he did, I doubt he comprehended the words I said. Or maybe he was overly gracious and pretended not to hear. He seems much more New Testament in comparison to my Old Testament judge mentality. I'll bet he has an inner Mary Poppins. Anyway.
What else is been going on? Well, I've moved on to my next phase of Adulting Recovery. I've almost taken control of my schedule again. Normal routines are emerging. Nos are being given when needed even if they're not happily received. I can walk into a grocery store again without developing hives. Essentially, I can do the adulting basics without in inordinate amount of stress. It's a victory.
My next step was to go deeper than meal planning and reevaluate some expectations I'd created for myself and other people. Okay. Other people is Jon. Whatever. We've been together for 18 years and sometimes I still try to change him. I have facilitated exactly one change in that man in our time together. I taught him to like broccoli. Or at least I taught him how to fake liking broccoli in a believable manner. Maybe I actually turned him into a better liar. In any case, it's still a change.
But really, writing things out helps me to process them so I wrote out my expectations. Then I really looked at the list. I quickly saw that I was putting too much pressure in some areas. Sometimes the biggest hurdle to overcoming a struggle is to get to the root and simply acknowledge the problem. The problem which seems nearly insurmountable at first can become almost too easy to fix once I've shrunk it down to what it really is. I wish this was a one and done kind of exercise, but it's not the first time I've had to come to grips with reality. Reevaluating expectations is simply one of those things I have to do occasionally. I naturally want to pile on too much. I also wish I was better at maintenance so I would think to do this on a regular basis. Unfortunately, even my fancy, overpriced planner cannot undo my ability to overlook maintenance while enjoying the project.
And that's all folks. I'll be sure to update you when I level up in adulting again.
I don't know why I want to celebrate Mother's Day by completely disentangling myself from the very people that made me a mother, but that's what it is. I'll call it self-care. Now it's socially acceptable. I am no Ann Voskamp. She wrote a lovely thing about how she spends Mother's Day thinking about how we should more deeply appreciate that we get to love these people God put in our care. I mean, that's the goal. Yeah, I should do that. But also, I took a really good, hard nap on Saturday afternoon because my people are exhausting sometimes. They interrupt a solid majority of each thought and action of my day. And yes, I know C.S. Lewis said the interruptions aren't interruptions, they're real life. I dare say C.S. Lewis didn't have a child waiting outside his bathroom to ask if he can build a basketball goal out of cardboard. So at the end of my mother's day weekend, I'm feeling refreshed because I got some large chunks of time by myself to do what I want.
What do I do with large chunks of time, my friends? It means I bought a clothes hamper for my bathroom because seriously. Jon and I have been married for 17.5 years, and somehow we never got around to buying a clothes hamper. We've thrown our clothes in a pile in the corner of the bathroom for nearly two decades as if we're animals. Now we have a lovely basket. At Jon's very first attempt, his clothes made it halfway in and were hanging over the side. I gave him side-eye for that until I looked closer and realized my shirt was also hanging halfway out. You can give animals a basket, but you can't make them use it correctly.
Mother's Day morning is always a little sticky because it's a Sunday morning. Church people know that an average Sunday morning can have extra tension as we try to get everyone out the door looking presentable so we can fake our ideal family look for the next two hours. You know how it goes. One kid starts looking for his shoes when everyone else is walking out the door. Another kid is bemoaning the fact that she didn't have time to brush her hair in the two hours she's been awake. Kids are bickering in the car. One kid is extra nitpicky with me and everyone else. Two kids quietly shove each other to get to the seat next to mine in church. And what do I hear as we go through this charade of a perfect family? "Happy Mother's Day!" times one thousand. So now I can't even give my kids the look they deserve to squash the bickering because I have to pull out my inner Mary Poppins and say "Thanks! Aren't they such blessings?" Okay, I didn't say that. Apparently my inner Mary Poppins was not having it so my inner Okayest Mom said, "Thanks! I'm ready for this day to be over." Not even kidding. That's what I said to our pastor. I'm not sure he actually heard me, or if he did, I doubt he comprehended the words I said. Or maybe he was overly gracious and pretended not to hear. He seems much more New Testament in comparison to my Old Testament judge mentality. I'll bet he has an inner Mary Poppins. Anyway.
What else is been going on? Well, I've moved on to my next phase of Adulting Recovery. I've almost taken control of my schedule again. Normal routines are emerging. Nos are being given when needed even if they're not happily received. I can walk into a grocery store again without developing hives. Essentially, I can do the adulting basics without in inordinate amount of stress. It's a victory.
My next step was to go deeper than meal planning and reevaluate some expectations I'd created for myself and other people. Okay. Other people is Jon. Whatever. We've been together for 18 years and sometimes I still try to change him. I have facilitated exactly one change in that man in our time together. I taught him to like broccoli. Or at least I taught him how to fake liking broccoli in a believable manner. Maybe I actually turned him into a better liar. In any case, it's still a change.
But really, writing things out helps me to process them so I wrote out my expectations. Then I really looked at the list. I quickly saw that I was putting too much pressure in some areas. Sometimes the biggest hurdle to overcoming a struggle is to get to the root and simply acknowledge the problem. The problem which seems nearly insurmountable at first can become almost too easy to fix once I've shrunk it down to what it really is. I wish this was a one and done kind of exercise, but it's not the first time I've had to come to grips with reality. Reevaluating expectations is simply one of those things I have to do occasionally. I naturally want to pile on too much. I also wish I was better at maintenance so I would think to do this on a regular basis. Unfortunately, even my fancy, overpriced planner cannot undo my ability to overlook maintenance while enjoying the project.
And that's all folks. I'll be sure to update you when I level up in adulting again.
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