Closing out 2017

Well, we've almost made it. We're only a few short days away from 2018. I've begun to embrace the yearly ritual of getting all contemplative about how I've spent my time. I like to look back at the goals I made for myself in Januaries past and see how I've changed and grown. For instance, 2011 Mindy mostly just needed a nap. She was hyped up on expectations and slightly manic from the fatigue that only small children can give you. She was about to sell her house, move to Charleston (for the first time), and begin a period of community building, ministry, and nomadic living. If I could speak to her now, I'm not sure what I would say that would be helpful. I think I'd give her a long hug then tell her to just hold on. No matter what, just hold on, and it will be okay. 

But now I'm staring down the barrel of 2018, and I'm not ready. I don't have a good feeling about this year if I'm honest. I think this year will be hard in its own unique way. I can feel myself steeling my heart for what's to come, and it's making it difficult for me to make my new goals. While I continue to consider how I hope to shape my life in the coming year, I can at least look back at my 2017 goals to see how well I managed. Remember, my overall areas are marriage, personal growth, spiritual growth, and family.

For marriage, I committed to giving my husband one wrapped gift each month. This was difficult for me because I'm not a gift person. My gifts usually came in at the end of the month, and I missed November. I didn't forget, but I kept waiting for something to jump out at me as a good gift, and nothing seemed right. Then it was December, and I'd missed it. I did give more than one Christmas gift so that will have to cover it. Overall, I count this one as a success because the purpose was to be intentional in demonstrating love to my husband in a different way that was meaningful to him. I think it made me more aware of the small moments that can add so much to our marriage, and it made me consider his needs more.

For personal growth, I was all about France. And France was amazing. Like, life altering amazing. It changed me as a person. It was one of the most incredible weeks of my entire life. I wish I could relive that week from start to finish. Again, I feel successful in this goal. I brushed up on my French well enough to be able to communicate when I needed to. Or else the French people I encountered were gracious and figured out that I wanted to buy their food. I read books and blog posts to feel somewhat educated about some of the places I would be visiting. I managed to lose those 15-20 pounds finally! I got in pretty good shape. Like, I could do one legged burpies for awhile. Not anymore because I injured myself, but for awhile, I was on fire. I was not the chubby American girl in Paris! 

And now spiritual growth. This one was easy but important I think, and I unknowingly tapped into our church's focus. My goal for this one was to bring my actual Bible to church instead of using my Bible app on my phone. Occasionally I would forget and have to use my app. This year my church asked people to bring a journal and take notes from the sermon. This is something I used to do every week but had gotten out of the habit. These two paired well together, and I will continue to bring my journal to take notes. As for the Bible, I might go back to my app more often. I haven't decided yet. Maybe I'll start bringing highlighters or gel pens to mark up the passages more. Again, it's something I used to do but dropped the habit when I had a child to handle during the service. Now that my kids are older, and I can listen without distraction, it might be a natural goal to move into. 

Finally, family. At the beginning of the year, I wanted to encourage my children's interests. For Tommy, that meant guitar and basketball. For Charlotte, that meant musical theater, for Matthew, that meant football, cardboard, and duct tape. I'll be honest. This one has been exhausting. It's made my calendar look like a unicorn murder scene with all the color coded activities. I've pushed strongly against overloading my calendar or becoming hyper scheduled in the last few years, but this school year has undone me on that front. Once Tommy can drive himself, it will free up some of my calendar, but it's going to be a little while yet before that's my reality. Although it's been tiring for me and added more miles than I'd like to my van, it's been so amazing to see my kids grow in their individuality while overcoming their personal obstacles.

Over the next few days I'm going to settle on my goals for 2018. I've found that short-term, specific goals work well for me. I'm feeling pretty successful about 2017. A few years ago I was struggling with a feeling of being stuck and not moving forward in any recognizable way in my life. This year I think I owned my year and had some real success with my goals. I have some ideas rolling around for next year. They just need a few more days of polishing before I'm ready to commit.  

If you're at the end of the year and feeling like you're no better off than you were last December, I hope you can do that thing that pulls you forward. If you're looking at 2018 with trepidation, you are not alone. Even so, I look forward to the growth that only comes with being stretched further and pushed harder than I'd like to be. I hope you all have a Happy New Year!