Cherish every person because sometimes the moments are awful.


Let’s Cherish Every Moment in 2014! graphic from One Good Thing By Jillee

Ah, there it is. Cherish every moment. How do you feel about it? The phrase generally evokes an uncontrollable eye roll from me. That's probably because I usually hear it when I or someone I know is in the midst of one of those parenting moments that make my eye twitch. You know, like when my kid is throwing up all over me, the bed, the carpet, the walls, the ceiling...and some well meaning person says "Cherish every moment! One day you'll miss these days." Really? Because I'm finding it hard to believe that I will miss the vomit on the carpet. Is there anything worse than carpet vomit? I do not cherish the vomit on the carpet, and I cannot imagine a time in the foreseeable future that I will remember cleaning up vomit with fondness. 

But I get it. The point someone is trying to make when they utter this phrase is to appreciate that you have this amazing person in front of you that you get to love and care for in this short life. They mean well. It's a good sentiment, really. If only people used it wisely. And by wisely, I mean a time when vomit is not a part of my life. 

At the beginning of December, I found a Christmas card template with this phrase written in Christmas lights. I was excited to use it with pictures of my kids with their broken fingers, eye rolls, and tears. It would have been amazing, but since I never actually made the card, you'll have to take my word on it. You would have laughed. Since then, that phrase has been rolling around in my head. Cherish every moment. 

In the last few months, I've watched people walk through some horrific things. Like, things that make you find your kids and your husband in the middle of the day and hug them until they start wheezing because you're squeezing too hard. I used to  not be a crier, but I am now. I cry pretty easily for and with people in their pain. This year, I've walked with a few close friends as they've had to crawl along a path that no one would choose to take. Others I've just had to watch and pray because there's nothing to be done. 

And in all that, I hear "cherish every moment".  While I do appreciate the sentiment, it tends to lead me to a place of fear and what if. It also makes me want to throw my middle finger in the face of all the death and despair around me. I will NOT cherish this pain. I will defiantly yell "NO MORE! No more death, sickness, war, separation. No more." I will cherish these people because they make up my life, but I will not cherish these moments. These moments should not be. They should not be. 


Right now, on this particular day, I painfully long for world without pain. A world free from the hate, pride, and greed that push us to war. A world free from disease and the failures that come with age. Where there is war, a surrender to peace. Where there is death, a return to life. 

Anyway. I am feeling all the feels today. Obviously. I'll tone it down now and end on this. I still strongly dislike the "cherish every moment" 99% of the time, but I can get on board with "cherish every person". I'll cherish the good moments, and I will cherish the person in the bad moments. That's doable. 











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