Restlessness

I've been described as restless lately. It's that awful feeling when I want something to change, am waiting for things to change, but I'm not sure what I want to change, or how to make that change happen. Just stop right now and pray for my husband who has to live with me through all this.
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Since we're not leaving Charleston (not that I necessarily want to, I'd just like a change of scenery), and I can't travel to the places I'd like to go, I've been a bit moody over the last month. Again, pray for my poor husband. ;)  Potty training, cooking, laundry, and the other million little chores have lost what little luster they had in my eyes. I know these things are important, but it's honestly not how I'd like to spend my days. But then who does?  All of the homey, mommy stuff that I used to do and at least somewhat enjoy just annoy me now. I don't care about making perfect bows for presents or setting that perfect mantle. I tried organizing to make more time/room for the things I'd like to do, but even then, I just thought to myself, "I can't believe I'm dedicating an entire week of my life to organizing our stuff and schedules!" I've lost the joy in the daily minutia of life, and I know enough to know that's no good.

Perhaps it's a reaction to my grandfather's death and my cousin's fight with cancer. Maybe my idea of what should be important has become skewed. Maybe I've developed a better sense of what really matters. Or maybe I've realized that I'm no closer to meeting some personal life goals now than I was 10 years ago, and that really bothers me. And maybe I'm just tired. It's been a looooong 4 1/2 years for our family. I'm sure it's some combination of all those maybes. 

 I'm not asking for advice or book recommendations to help me get back into the homeschooling, mommy groove that so many people love. That even I used to love. I'm just throwing this out there.

And on a more practical note, since I NEED something to work towards, I found a list of 79 things to do in Charleston. I will use it as a starting point and cross them off one by one. Okay, I will definitely skip a few, but no one will accuse us of not living in this city!  We've already done some of them, but we will try our best to do most of them. I'd also love to tour each of the churches in downtown. These should keep us busy for a little while until my sense of restlessness can go away. Which it needs to do. Soon. For the sake of my sanity and my husband.

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