I was the crazy woman at the mall today.
Let me start off by saying that I'm a little concerned that I'm becoming "that" mom. You know, the crazy one that people look at with a mixture of pity and smugness. Twice in the last few weeks, I've identified myself as "that" mom which begs the question: How many times have I been "that" mom and not even realized it?!?
For the past week, we had the pleasure of having Mr. Logical's very best friend stay with us, and today I finally had to return him to his mom. The 1.5 hour drive was filled with whining, crying, and yelling from BBE (today known as Average Toddler-and that's being gracious). Miss Firecracker was frustrated with me because I didn't bring ear buds for the ipod, and she couldn't listen to her music. The drive took longer because the 18 wheeler in the right lane and the silver car in the left lane insisted on driving the SAME SPEED from I95 to somewhere close to Columbia. That was the point where one of them accidentally sped up and let me get around them before they knew what was going on. All of these little irritations came after 2 weeks of travel, family drama, and normal sleep deprivation. I was tired.
So we made it inside the mall, and it was time to order food. One kid wanted Chinese food. One kid wanted Japanese food. One kid suddenly didn't want ANY food because he saw the carousel that's inside the food court. Average Toddler wouldn't sit in his seat and eat. By the way, this was the calmest part of lunch. My friend was more than gracious through everything and was probably thinking "Thank GOD I'm past this stage of parenting!"
I'll skip over the play by play of who cried about what imagined offense and get to the big finale. Usually Miss Firecracker is our BIG FINALE in this kind of story, but today Average Toddler decided to take the main stage with his rendition of "How to Embarrass Your Mom in 5 Minutes or Less." He started with running away. When I picked him up and brought back, he moved onto a few well-timed screams of pure, unadulteraded rage. After a few of these he was warmed up and ready to begin. He'd already attracted a small audience with the screams so he moved onto hair pulling. This is a new one. He's NEVER pulled my hair before. Until today. At the mall. In front of my friend and the now 10 people surreptitiously watching. Before I could react, he went straight into the "Let's pull mom's shirt way down and get her arrested" ploy! Fun times, I tell you. Fun. Times. Thankfully, I managed to react fast enough to avoid an indecent exposure charge.
By now I'd realized that I was in uncharted territory with Average Toddler. I sat down and locked my arms around him so he couldn't wreak anymore havoc other than the screams that never stopped. Finally the kids were ready to go (all of this happened during a potty break of course). We started to walk to the exit when Mr. Logical realized he just had to have a refill for his drink. Then Miss Firecracker dropped her frozen yogurt on the floor. Mr. Logical ran off to get a refill. Miss Firecracker decided she needed a refill too even though her cup was half full. Not to be upstaged by Average Toddler, she then started crying about her drink. I still had Average Toddler in a death grip, and he was still screaming and looking around with wild, crazy, "I'm going to KILL THIS WOMAN" eyes.
We finally...FINALLY made it to the van. My friend had suggested earlier that I try turning Average Toddler's carseat around so that I at least wouldn't have to hear him cry as loudly. I thought this was a splendid idea and decided to turn his seat around after moving it to the very back of the van as far away from my ears as possible. We said our goodbyes and we went on our way.
I admit that I cried as I left the parking lot because all I could think was "I am the worst parent ever!" Now obviously I'm not really the worst parent ever. But seriously, there comes a point when you have to at least re-evaluate what you're doing to see where you can make improvements. Personally, I realized that I need to carry through with what I say I'll do. I'm much better at it when I'm alone, but when I'm out with friends, it's so much harder to stop everything and deal with whatever needs to be dealt with. And...Average Toddler is two. Two year olds do this sometimes. I knew he was in a bad mood as soon as he woke up this morning.
So my conclusion: I need a week-long nap, Average Toddler is a TODDLER and will act appropriately for his age, Miss Firecracker didn't cry when she dropped her yogurt (big improvement), and I can't wear stretchy clothes until I'm sure AT won't try his little stunt again. Until next time...
For the past week, we had the pleasure of having Mr. Logical's very best friend stay with us, and today I finally had to return him to his mom. The 1.5 hour drive was filled with whining, crying, and yelling from BBE (today known as Average Toddler-and that's being gracious). Miss Firecracker was frustrated with me because I didn't bring ear buds for the ipod, and she couldn't listen to her music. The drive took longer because the 18 wheeler in the right lane and the silver car in the left lane insisted on driving the SAME SPEED from I95 to somewhere close to Columbia. That was the point where one of them accidentally sped up and let me get around them before they knew what was going on. All of these little irritations came after 2 weeks of travel, family drama, and normal sleep deprivation. I was tired.
So we made it inside the mall, and it was time to order food. One kid wanted Chinese food. One kid wanted Japanese food. One kid suddenly didn't want ANY food because he saw the carousel that's inside the food court. Average Toddler wouldn't sit in his seat and eat. By the way, this was the calmest part of lunch. My friend was more than gracious through everything and was probably thinking "Thank GOD I'm past this stage of parenting!"
I'll skip over the play by play of who cried about what imagined offense and get to the big finale. Usually Miss Firecracker is our BIG FINALE in this kind of story, but today Average Toddler decided to take the main stage with his rendition of "How to Embarrass Your Mom in 5 Minutes or Less." He started with running away. When I picked him up and brought back, he moved onto a few well-timed screams of pure, unadulteraded rage. After a few of these he was warmed up and ready to begin. He'd already attracted a small audience with the screams so he moved onto hair pulling. This is a new one. He's NEVER pulled my hair before. Until today. At the mall. In front of my friend and the now 10 people surreptitiously watching. Before I could react, he went straight into the "Let's pull mom's shirt way down and get her arrested" ploy! Fun times, I tell you. Fun. Times. Thankfully, I managed to react fast enough to avoid an indecent exposure charge.
By now I'd realized that I was in uncharted territory with Average Toddler. I sat down and locked my arms around him so he couldn't wreak anymore havoc other than the screams that never stopped. Finally the kids were ready to go (all of this happened during a potty break of course). We started to walk to the exit when Mr. Logical realized he just had to have a refill for his drink. Then Miss Firecracker dropped her frozen yogurt on the floor. Mr. Logical ran off to get a refill. Miss Firecracker decided she needed a refill too even though her cup was half full. Not to be upstaged by Average Toddler, she then started crying about her drink. I still had Average Toddler in a death grip, and he was still screaming and looking around with wild, crazy, "I'm going to KILL THIS WOMAN" eyes.
We finally...FINALLY made it to the van. My friend had suggested earlier that I try turning Average Toddler's carseat around so that I at least wouldn't have to hear him cry as loudly. I thought this was a splendid idea and decided to turn his seat around after moving it to the very back of the van as far away from my ears as possible. We said our goodbyes and we went on our way.
I admit that I cried as I left the parking lot because all I could think was "I am the worst parent ever!" Now obviously I'm not really the worst parent ever. But seriously, there comes a point when you have to at least re-evaluate what you're doing to see where you can make improvements. Personally, I realized that I need to carry through with what I say I'll do. I'm much better at it when I'm alone, but when I'm out with friends, it's so much harder to stop everything and deal with whatever needs to be dealt with. And...Average Toddler is two. Two year olds do this sometimes. I knew he was in a bad mood as soon as he woke up this morning.
So my conclusion: I need a week-long nap, Average Toddler is a TODDLER and will act appropriately for his age, Miss Firecracker didn't cry when she dropped her yogurt (big improvement), and I can't wear stretchy clothes until I'm sure AT won't try his little stunt again. Until next time...
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