Sunday at Church Mindy

Hello friends. It's been a couple of weeks. We've been getting into the business of beginning school, but I don't want to talk about that. I have nothing new to add at the moment. Okay, except this. Last week was our first real week of school for my two oldest. It also happened to be the week that I'd scheduled four dentist appointments and three eye doctor appointments. The dentist was scheduled 6 months ago before I knew our August schedule. The eye appointments had been put off all summer so I had to get this monkey off my back. Charlotte's glasses broke a few months ago and, being the middle child that she is, her need kept getting pushed to the side. Sorry, child. I'm doing my best here.

At the end of six appointments (because one child decided to get sick for our first week of school. Ahem. TOMMY), we had zero cavities, three kids with glasses on the way, and one child being directed to the orthodontist for evaluation. Yes, we're going from one child with glasses to three children with glasses. Also, I just paid off the other two kids' orthodontist bill and don't want to talk braces this week. I'm bitter. We all have astigmatism and none of my kids have jaws with teeth that actually align. Apparently we have genetic issues after all. I suppose I do come from English stock. Teeth issues should have been expected. Okay, that's really all I want to say about our week. School happened, doctors were seen, and we did not die.

Now then, what I really want to tell you about is my weekend! A couple of weeks ago, my friend and I texted back and forth about going to Ikea. Then last Wednesday, my friend threw up the bat signal and I moved Ikea from pencil to pen. She is my ride or die friend. If she wants to go to Ikea, I go to Ikea. Also, we like the same things so I was an easy mark. On Friday, she texted me about THE book sale in Greenville. Every year, the Greenville Library has the Really Big, Really Cheap Book Sale, and it is the most amazing thing ever to a bibliophile. Obviously I needed to go to this thing. Also obviously, I was not going to leave my house at 4:30am to be there by 7:30am. And that is how I went from nothing to do this weekend to leaving Friday night for my friend's house and spending Saturday at a book sale and the organizational Mecca that is Ikea. *taking a bow*

I'd like to take this moment to thank the people that made this weekend possible. First, all the praise to God. Second, I couldn't have done this without my friend who encouraged me to dream bigger than an empty Saturday. Finally, to my amazing husband and children who have learned to thrive in my absence. 

If you're still with me after all my aggrandizing, I just have one more thing. So this morning, I'm at church. At this point, my family and anyone that reads any of my facebook posts knows of my introvert tendencies and where I'm going with this. First, let it be known that when we arrived at church this morning, I was social and went to talk to somebody. I did not hide from people. Then the music started, we sang some songs, we listened to announcements, and then it happened. Every single week is the same thing. 

"Now let's greet everyone! Go look for someone you've never met and get to know them!"

No. Person on stage, you have just given me an impossible order! I cannot get to know someone completely new in the 3-5 minutes between announcements and when the sound people are ready to stream the service. I can. not. do. it. Remember in 2013 when the top church words were "authentic" and "organic"? I'm pulling them up to 2018 and telling you that it would not be authentic or organic for me to try to get to know someone new in 3-5 minutes. Tell me to try to shake 10 people's hands and say hello. I can do that! I won't like it, and if you tell me to do it once cold and flu season hits, I just won't do it. But that is a manageable request. 

Do you know what happens when I talk to someone new while under a time crunch? I say awkward things. Or what happened this morning happens. My husband has no problem participating in this charade of community. He just grabs the hand of a random person and starts talking. Then this happened...

Jon: *reaches hand out to unsuspecting person* "Hi! How are you? I'm Jon!"

Taylor: (Unsuspecting person is Taylor) "Hi! I'm Taylor! Is this your first time at Journey?"

Me: ... "Well, no. We've been here for about 7 years..."

Taylor: "Oh. Wow. That's a really long time...

Me: ... "Well, I mean, there's year in the middle when we moved to North Carolina..." *shut up she does not care where you have moved in the last 8 years and the trauma that is 2014. Also we are not ancient. Why does she look at us like we're ancient?* "Is this your first time to Journey?"

Taylor: "I've actually been here for a year!"

Okay. I'm going to stop right now. Can you feel the awkwardness coming through? I have never seen this girl in my life, and in all honesty, I probably never will again. That is the downside to going to a largish church that turns the lights down most of the time. My church should ban me from small talk during the greeting time. I think I do them more harm than good. 

Put me in a group with the same people every week for an extended period of time, and I will have time to feel out the room and see how much of me I can reveal. Put me on a timer for how long I have to connect with someone, and I will exhibit performance anxiety. Between greeting time and my struggle to put my cardigan on during the middle of the service (I could not find the sleeve and I was cold!!! Arms were going everywhere.), it was an interesting morning. When the service was over, I was like "Can we just go before I trip over a baby, knock down an elderly person, or my dress blows up in the wind?" No one disagreed. 

I don't know why I become a spastic mess of a person at church, but Sunday at Journey Church Mindy can be a walking wreck of a person. My filter stops working. YES, I HAVE A FILTER. Most of the time. In any case, that was how this Sunday went. It's all good, really. It's all fodder for my book. 

And that's all, friends. We're starting another week of school. August is halfway over. People won't be subjected to Sunday at Journey Church Mindy for another week. Until next time...

Here's a terrible selfie of me at Starbucks trying to banish the Cherish pic.