Why do January and February have to be so rude?

Wow. January was rough and the first week of February has not been kind. I was somewhat prepared for this because I've finally learned that October and January/February are my struggle months. I was ready for the dip in morale this time, armed with optimism and wine. I was not prepared for a month of sick people. Sick kids. Sick husband. Sick self. Never at the same time and one of them got hit twice. Then the exhaustion of 3 birthdays hit. School morale dipped a little bit, but I have not resorted to my yearly online school scouting yet.  By the end of the month, the germs were defeated, and I thought I'd made it through the worst. Then January 31 came and had a little conversation with February. I imagine it went something like this.

      January: "Hi February! I feel like Mindy has had a rough Me, but not nearly as rough as usual. Care to help me out in crushing her for a few weeks?"

      February: "You know what? I can do that!"  

      January: "Okay, I'll set her up then you go for it."

      February: "I. Got. This."

So Tuesday started off with a broken dryer, wet clothes, and the last class day for one of my 3 favorite students. (I have 3 in my class so I can have 3 favorites).  And a nearly flat tire. And running late for our homeschool group. 

The rest of the week included grape jelly everywhere. Every. Where. Dentist visits for all 3 kids that all ended with the same conversation: "You need to go to the orthodontist!" The insurance office. Chickfila for a Matthew Hangry breakdown. Oops, I had an important phone call scheduled at 2mp. Let's just do that as we hurry to the car. Back to the insurance office. Lots of "But mom!". Then there's the wonderful conversation where my husband tells me he gets to go on some unexpected work trips to amazing places that will equal a month out of our year of him being gone. I forgot to block out my dates on the church volunteer calendar and got scheduled on the days I'm going to be out of town. Then the figuring out childcare for other things. Realizing that next week is a logistical nightmare with a million things to do in multiple places at the same time. Don't forget school is still happening. People still need to eat. And they all keep looking at me like I'm supposed to be the adult in all this. 

Then my mom called yesterday. Most people would say that's a good thing, but my mom only calls with bad news. She texts and messages otherwise. That sounds terrible when I write it, but it's not. We are cut from the same introverted cloth. Anyway, terrible car wreck. One extended family member dead, the other in the hospital. It's not like it was someone I was super close to, but it was someone I grew up with in my life on a regular basis so it hit me surprisingly hard. And the circumstances were just awful and tragic. So there went Friday.

Friday night at Pet Smart, Charlotte started crying because, as she said, "I just want a pet so badly and I've wanted one for so long and it will never happen because you won't let me!" 

And now Saturday. I'm taking half a day off. I know so many of these things are inconveniences. Most of them are not even what I would consider real problems. Just bumps. Not the car accident, because that's just awful by anyone's standards. But otherwise, I know it's a blessing to have a dryer to break and the means to repair it. I know it's a blessing to have a vehicle that needs a tire repaired and the means to solve the issue. I know it's a blessing to have so many opportunities in our lives that I have to prioritize them. I know how privileged I am to be able to take my kids to the dentist with the knowledge that my insurance will cover it (and no cavities!). But it's also exhausting to manage it all sometimes. And I'm jealous about some of the work trips. There. I admit it. I'm always jealous when he gets the trips. I am not far enough along on the sanctification process to have moved beyond the most base sin of jealousy. I'm glad he gets to go, but seriously. Couldn't a work trip be in Idaho for once? There would be no jealousy for that trip. 

So in closing, I think there is no better group of people to quote than my very own children. One of their favorite exclamations is "BUT IT'S NOT FAIR!" It feels fitting. I feel this on a deep, spiritual level. And I also recognize the absurdity of it. I probably need a nap. And a secretary. An extra driver would be helpful next week too. 

(Obviously, I will be praying for peace, patience, and a better perspective for next week. I'll also be praying for better sleep. Although I don't think God wants anyone to stay in this kind of place for long, a good chunk of the Psalms are David complaining or calling for death and destruction on his enemies. Then he laid it all at God's feet; both the big and the seemingly stupid things. If it was good enough for David, then God can handle my First World rough weeks. I will rest in the knowledge that I am merely walking through this week and not planted in it.)