Houses and hurdles
We've been busy. What else can I say? It's been 2 months since I've written anything worth sharing. We've been busy. First and foremost, we've been doing school. We're on week 11. My planning notebook clearly shows the downward slide in the last few weeks which means it's about time we kick things back into high gear to get as much done as possible by Thanksgiving. School gets really spotty between Thanksgiving and New Years. Any homeschooler that denies this is lying to you.
We went to Maine. It was beautiful. Instead of spending 6 days in hotels, we were able to stay with friends most of the time instead which was great. It's much better to spend time with friends than in an anonymous hotel room. It's a gift that I hope to be able to give to other people one day which brings me to our biggest news...
We're in the process of buying a house! Just writing that sentence was hard. This is a decision that has brought me great joy and anxiety in the last few weeks. I had joy when I was thinking about the prospect of buying a house. Now that I have to actually do house buying things, I'm surprisingly anxious about the entire process. The what-if questions are killing me. What if Jon has to be transferred soon, and I have to turn around and sell the house? What if we can't find the right house? What if we're settling in a life that isn't the life we really want to have? I can't say that I feel like I'm ready to settle here. It's much more of a choice. We are choosing to settle here. I know we're tired of moving. I know that this is where Jon has a job. I know the kids are sooo over the moving, and I'm pretty sure they'll seek emancipation if we try to relocate again. So...we are buying a house.
If I'm going to buy a house, it's going to to be to the glory of God or there's no point. I want a house that we can host people in. I want all the people that have invited us into their homes to be able to stay in our home for a change. I want to be the person that has an extra room for people that need a resting place when life gets a little bumpier than they expected. That's all. A house big enough for us and others. =) Nothing huge, nothing ostentatious. I don't need granite counters although I would not be disappointed if they happened to be in our future house. I am hopeful that God will provide the exact house we need at the appropriate time.
I think the house search has dredged up some fears from last year, namely, that our lives will blow up again like it did last fall. Nobody knows when their life is going to blow up. That's kind of the point. You're going along being you and doing all the things you usually do when BAM! Your husband loses his job. Or someone dies. Or hurtful secrets come to light. Cancer. Whatever it is, we all know there's a metaphorical bomb buried in the road just waiting to blow up our lives in some way. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have some comfort in the thought that if something huge came along, we could easily pick up and run away from the disaster. Buying a house means I'm choosing to be attached to something else in my life. After being very selective in my attachments over the last few years, this is the hardest hurdle for me to jump.
But...I'm jumping it. We're buying a house. Probably. Unless something else happens. But almost definitely. As you can see, I've developed a bit of a commitment phobia. I'm praying about that. =)
We went to Maine. It was beautiful. Instead of spending 6 days in hotels, we were able to stay with friends most of the time instead which was great. It's much better to spend time with friends than in an anonymous hotel room. It's a gift that I hope to be able to give to other people one day which brings me to our biggest news...
We're in the process of buying a house! Just writing that sentence was hard. This is a decision that has brought me great joy and anxiety in the last few weeks. I had joy when I was thinking about the prospect of buying a house. Now that I have to actually do house buying things, I'm surprisingly anxious about the entire process. The what-if questions are killing me. What if Jon has to be transferred soon, and I have to turn around and sell the house? What if we can't find the right house? What if we're settling in a life that isn't the life we really want to have? I can't say that I feel like I'm ready to settle here. It's much more of a choice. We are choosing to settle here. I know we're tired of moving. I know that this is where Jon has a job. I know the kids are sooo over the moving, and I'm pretty sure they'll seek emancipation if we try to relocate again. So...we are buying a house.
If I'm going to buy a house, it's going to to be to the glory of God or there's no point. I want a house that we can host people in. I want all the people that have invited us into their homes to be able to stay in our home for a change. I want to be the person that has an extra room for people that need a resting place when life gets a little bumpier than they expected. That's all. A house big enough for us and others. =) Nothing huge, nothing ostentatious. I don't need granite counters although I would not be disappointed if they happened to be in our future house. I am hopeful that God will provide the exact house we need at the appropriate time.
I think the house search has dredged up some fears from last year, namely, that our lives will blow up again like it did last fall. Nobody knows when their life is going to blow up. That's kind of the point. You're going along being you and doing all the things you usually do when BAM! Your husband loses his job. Or someone dies. Or hurtful secrets come to light. Cancer. Whatever it is, we all know there's a metaphorical bomb buried in the road just waiting to blow up our lives in some way. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have some comfort in the thought that if something huge came along, we could easily pick up and run away from the disaster. Buying a house means I'm choosing to be attached to something else in my life. After being very selective in my attachments over the last few years, this is the hardest hurdle for me to jump.
But...I'm jumping it. We're buying a house. Probably. Unless something else happens. But almost definitely. As you can see, I've developed a bit of a commitment phobia. I'm praying about that. =)
Comments
Post a Comment