The Ideal Version of Me
The ideal version of myself. I'm picturing her right now. She's about 10 pounds lighter, runs 5 miles effortlessly and regularly, cooks healthy meals for her family nearly every night, keeps her home welcoming, inviting, and tidy, does her hair everyday (ponytails don't count!). She reads a variety of books, about one a week from a variety of genres. She plans beautiful events and completes her work on time and without stress. She takes her kids to all sorts of educational and/or fun places because she knows that experience is one of the best teachers. The librarians know them by name because they frequent the library so often. She wakes up extra early and gets the kids started on their schoolwork on time. She never worries if they're doing enough, if her children are learning enough. And her husband? Well, he can't sing her praises enough. She doesn't lose her temper with him. She always makes sure his laundry is done. She supports him in his endeavors and lets him lead with confidence. And birds sing songs when she's near, rain clouds part, and a rainbow follows her wherever she goes.
Obviously this is not realistic. Although if I could figure out that rainbow thing, it would awesome. I can do a small percentage of any of these things well at one time, but never all at once. If I plan and pull off great events, there's no time to cook so we eat out. If I cook all the time, dishes will inevitably pile up. My hair is wavy/curly, and I live in a hot, humid city. There's no hope some days. If we go to the library, my library fines start to affect our budget. School? Do not even get me started. I've experienced burn out on multiple levels in the last 6 months so school has not been exciting or deep. Oh, and burnout? Apparently burnout means you're not relying on God enough. At least that's what I keep reading. I need new resources on burnout.
And now this is the person I've turned into. For a couple of weeks we'll eat at home a lot. We'll read lots of books. Laundry will be done. BBE will get potty trained or some other amazing, life altering milestone. By the end of the day, I'll be exhausted and ready to drop before the kids are asleep. Other things get neglected so I start focusing on a different slice of my life. For whatever three things I focus on, 6 will slide. But that's the nature of the beast, right? I can't do it all. It's truly impossible. I live in a world that tends towards decay and disaster. I cook because it's better, healthier, and cheaper, but it wrecks my kitchen. Then I accidentally drop a plate and smash it. It's just how life is. I spend a week taking the kids to the pool, story time, Chuck E Cheese, and the beach for an educational class on ocean life. Then I can't keep my eyes open by 7pm. And I'm sunburned. Again.
Just trying to a partial version of my ideal self is exhausting! And THIS is just another reason why I love the concept of grace so much. Because I need an abundant supply on a daily basis!
Obviously this is not realistic. Although if I could figure out that rainbow thing, it would awesome. I can do a small percentage of any of these things well at one time, but never all at once. If I plan and pull off great events, there's no time to cook so we eat out. If I cook all the time, dishes will inevitably pile up. My hair is wavy/curly, and I live in a hot, humid city. There's no hope some days. If we go to the library, my library fines start to affect our budget. School? Do not even get me started. I've experienced burn out on multiple levels in the last 6 months so school has not been exciting or deep. Oh, and burnout? Apparently burnout means you're not relying on God enough. At least that's what I keep reading. I need new resources on burnout.
And now this is the person I've turned into. For a couple of weeks we'll eat at home a lot. We'll read lots of books. Laundry will be done. BBE will get potty trained or some other amazing, life altering milestone. By the end of the day, I'll be exhausted and ready to drop before the kids are asleep. Other things get neglected so I start focusing on a different slice of my life. For whatever three things I focus on, 6 will slide. But that's the nature of the beast, right? I can't do it all. It's truly impossible. I live in a world that tends towards decay and disaster. I cook because it's better, healthier, and cheaper, but it wrecks my kitchen. Then I accidentally drop a plate and smash it. It's just how life is. I spend a week taking the kids to the pool, story time, Chuck E Cheese, and the beach for an educational class on ocean life. Then I can't keep my eyes open by 7pm. And I'm sunburned. Again.
Just trying to a partial version of my ideal self is exhausting! And THIS is just another reason why I love the concept of grace so much. Because I need an abundant supply on a daily basis!
Comments
Post a Comment