When I have kids, I'll NEVER...

For the past few days I've been thinking about all the things I never imagined I would do or swore I would never do when I had kids.  I've had to eat my words quite a few times. If only all the things I thought I knew back then were true and applicable to real life. =) Specifically, this afternoon is what spurred me on to actual write about it.

As I was making lunch for the kids earlier, I accidentally splattered butter and olive oil on my shirt. That meant I had to change. Since I wasn't leaving home for awhile, and was doing housework, I grabbed the first shirt I put my hands on with the intention of changing before we left for Mr. L's basketball game. You know, where real people would see me? Unfortunately, lunch took longer than I expected AND I'd forgotten that I needed to buy extra drinks because yes...today was the day I volunteered to bring snacks for the team  (By the way, here's #1- I never thought I'd be scatterbrained. Before kids, I was much too put together to forget things).  Mr. L insisted I was supposed to bring snacks for both teams. I was 90% sure he was wrong, but I didn't want to be the mom that didn't bring enough snacks.  So then it was time to go, BBE didn't want to go which made things take even longer, and...I forgot to change shirts.  I also didn't fix my hair so I had to pull it back in an ugly tiny ponytail that was better than the mess I had on top of my head (You might think that messy hair would be #2, but you'd be wrong. I've never cared that much about my hair.)  Forty minutes later, we were at the game when I finally realized that I never changed shirts. It wasn't a huge deal. It's not like I was wearing all mesh or a Metallica t-shirt to the church basketball game.  It was another 10 minutes before the most important thought hit me. "Umm...was this shirt with the clean clothes or the dirty clothes?"  A closer inspection confirmed that I was sitting at my son's very last basketball game of the season and about to hand out snacks to every child on his team wearing a dirty t-shirt, baggy jeans, boots that didn't go with my outfit, and a redneck excuse for a ponytail.  (NOW we've hit #2: Wearing dirty clothes in public).  After a quick sigh, my next thought was, "Well, it's not like most of these people know me...I don't look that bad. No big deal." (And that, my friends, is #3: Not really caring that I'm wearing dirty, baggy clothes and sporting some really ugly hair). We finished the game, and Miss Firecracker saved me by asking to pass out the snacks.
Oh how far I've fallen.

In my 11 years in the mommy club (I'm including pregnancy months. I liken my first pregnancy to sorority rush week. A private club induction that continues for 9 months instead 7 days), I've been a part of all kinds of groups. Since I tend to sit back and listen more than lead the fray in larger groups, I observed quite a lot. One group was very "DON'T VACCINATE YOUR KIDS! IT WILL KILL THEM!!!"  When I vaccinated mine, I saw the looks pass between them.  There was the "Harry Potter and Halloween are of the devil friends."  They were kind enough to not say anything when my kids started talking about choosing their Halloween costumes or how excited they were to watch the new HP movie. There were the "Parents should try their best to send their kids to private school if they can't homeschool." That group inevitably ends up in public school and becomes the "Public school isn't as bad as we thought" group.  There's the "No TV or video games" group, the "Only Christian Music" group...you get the picture.  Every group has its own list of things that good parents do and things that bad parents do. And perhaps most importantly, many people in each group eventually lightened up or even *gasp* changed their view on the critical opinion holding the group together.  Obviously I have my own opinions on all of these topics, but I try to recognize them as opinion. Most parents are trying their very best to love and raise their children to be educated, well-rounded, independent people. We just go about it in different ways.

So be careful of those "I'll never..." statements. They almost always come back to haunt you. Eventually you'll realize that 99% of the things you thought were so important at the time really aren't that big of a deal.   Things like occasionally grabbing the wrong shirt, wearing the baggy jeans, and looking like "that" mom at your child's basketball game. I will probably never see most of those people again, and if I do, they won't recognize me. I'll be in clean clothes that fit, and my hair will be pretty again. =)


  1. I used to adamently say that I would NEVER allow MY children to be in public wearing dirty clothes. Little did I know that I would have to keep 10 sets of clean clothes in my diaper bag in order to accomplish that. Kids can always find something to get dirty with, no matter how sparkling and pristine they looked when you left home! So yeah, that's my kid with ketchup on his shirt!


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