When friendships go wrong.

   Two posts in a row? What is the world coming to??? Well, yesterday's post was just a snapshot of what we're up to these days, while today's is what really has been weighing on my mind.  Here it goes...


     A little heavier than a road trip with kids, I know.  Anyway, let's dive in, shall we?  I have one friendship in my past that ended abruptly and on less than happy terms. It was years ago now, but I still think about it fairly often because this person truly was one of my closest friends. It was one of those few friendships that I really thought would last. I get that relationships run their course. Lives turn in different directions, people drift apart, and that's normal. Most people that enter our lives are only going to be there for a limited amount of time. However, a very few people have stuck around in my life no matter how our lives have twisted and turned. I've kept up friendships across continents because the relationship is one of those lifetime deals. We don't get to talk or see each other that often, but we do keep up, and we can simply  pick up where we left off.
    I thought this friend was one of those; however, this friendship did not run it's course. I would never share the details of what happened in something so public as a blogpost, but the end result was that I lost my best friend overnight.  I've gone over everything countless times. I sincerely apologized and asked forgiveness for my part of the situation, and that person apologized and asked forgiveness for their part. Yet, the friendship was still broken. No matter how many times I'd reach out, it became very clear that my friend no longer wanted a relationship with me. We were always friendly to each other, but that was it. Obviously it still bothers me since I'm writing about it years later.
     Whenever the topic of reconciliation comes up, I immediately think of this person. I mean, we did everything we were supposed to do, but like I said, the friendship was over. Does that mean we didn't reconcile? Can you be reconciled, but still recognize that the relationship simply can't be what it once was?  Does resentment still linger around the situation (which I suppose means there's not true forgiveness)?  I really don't know since I can't speak for the other person. I can say assuredly that my only feelings on the matter are of sadness and grief over the loss, not anger or bitterness at all.  I think I've done everything on my end that can be done, but maybe I'm missing something? Or maybe I just need to let it go once and for all. At this point, I don't believe there's anything left that I can do. Besides we've moved away at this point so I'm not even sure what kind of conclusion I'm realistically hoping for.
    So what are your thoughts on biblical reconciliation? Am I missing something? What has to happen for real reconciliation to occur?


  1. I think on your part there is forgiveness. However, for real reconciliation, she would have to honestly forgive you back. It is how my dear friends survived infidelity. She loved the person not the sin, he repented and turned away from the path of destruction, she forgave no matter how painful, and now they walk together with a renewed love and deeper faith. Both sides of the relationship have to really want it and be willing to work on it. Not living close to each other makes it more difficult. Relationships grow and heal much easier with quality time - living life together - sharing experiences. I have a friend I have kept in touch with for years on the phone, but we have to work hard at it. Luckily we connect with similar age kids. Still it is not the same and sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. I miss building bonds with her -too experiencing things together.

    Still, I would suggest you continue to pray for reconciliation and never give up trying. Not being willing to give up might one day break down the walls.


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