How Perfectionism Leads to Lasagna Cupcakes

I am and always have been a perfectionist. If I'm going to do something, I want to do it RIGHT. Unfortunately, if I know that I can't do something the way I really want to, I tend to not do that something at all. I know this is bad, but I'm working on it.  This week, my perfectionism peeked it's ugly head out and started causing problems. Finally at the last minute, I got a hold of myself and followed through, but this story gives you a good insight into how my brain works.
    It all started a week ago today...I remember it well. I went to a Wednesday night Bible study, and the hostess had made homemade lasagna for dinner. It was delicious! I thought to myself, "I used to make homemade lasagna. I should make it again sometime."  And that was that...or so I thought. A couple of days later, I found this cute recipe complete with pictures for Lasagna Cupcakes. Not as gross as it sounds. It's basically little individual lasagnas made in a muffin tin. It looked soooo cute, and I was hooked right there. I HAD to try to make those lasagna cupcakes. Here's a pic so that you can understand my compulsion.

     Fast forward to Tuesday. It's time to go to the grocery store. One of the things about this recipe is that it uses wonton wrappers instead of noodles. You cut them in small circles to make your cute, tiny layers. Now, do you know where to find wonton wrappers in your grocery store? Think about it. Where would they be? Unless you've bought these things before, you're wrong. You just are. First I looked down the ethnic aisle. Nope, nothing on aisle 6. Then I looked in the freezer section with the pasta. Nope, not there either. I look down the entire refrigerator section and still nothing. You see how this perfect recipe is already causing problems, right?  So I ask the perky, 16 year old, blond hair, blue-eyed cashier if she knows where wontons are. She looks at me with two expressions. The first expression is complete confusion because she has NO IDEA what I'm talking about or where to find them. The second expression is skepticism because she doesn't know why someone like ME would want to buy wontons. She goes and asks someone else, and they suggest Aisle 6. We go look, still not there. She asks someone else who sends us to the refrigerated section, and again, still not there. We ask the stocker for that section and he guessed it! Aisle 6! NO, IT'S NOT ON THE ETHNIC FOOD AISLE!!!
    I'm about to give up hope, when (and I swear this is what happened, and I hope I don't offend anyone)...a manager walks by. An Asian manager. You can see it on everyone's faces. We're all thinking "He'll know where they are!!!" So we ask "Do YOU know where wonton wraps are?" He smiles and quickly says, "Of course! They're in the produce section. I'll show you."
   Now what the what??? The Produce section????  As I follow him to the produce section (???), he turns and gives me a funny look and asks, "Are YOU going to make wontons?" Haha, funny. Sooo, anyway, I get the wonton wraps, and I'm ready for my cute, perfect lasagna cupcakes.
    And now it's Wednesday. I'm going to make these suckers Today. No matter what. Yes, we got up at 5:15am to get ready to hand out coffee to our community as people go to work. Yes, I made breakfast when we got home. Yes, I packed up a box of clothes and some big items to sell at a consignment store (made $30!), and got home around 11:45pm. Yes, Mr. Incredible has to get ready for work soon. Who cares? I need to make my lasagna!
     I start cutting out little circles of wontons and filling them. They're so cute, I'm having fun, and then it hits me. WHAT am I doing? I'm making mini lasagnas for our lunch. This is time consuming, and everyone is already hungry. Mr. Inc is looking at what I'm doing, and he's not saying anything, but I can read his face. It says "Mindy's on her crazy cooking kick again...I hope I get to eat before I have to leave for work." After making 9 of them, I finally come to my senses and assemble the rest of the ingredients in a big stack of lasagna so that I can be finished with the whole thing.
   We ate a little after 1pm.  It was actually really tasty, and I think I will use wontons to make lasagna from now on.  But rejoice everyone! This story shows progress! At least I realized how crazy I was being instead of persevering into the insanity of continuing to make individual lasagnas for my family that really just wants to eat. They don't care if it's pretty, they just want food. Why do I make this so hard?
    So what am I doing tomorrow, you ask? Making apple pie. From scratch. Because I haven't learned that much yet. ;)

***By the way, this recipe is from The Girl Who Ate Everything blog in case you want to try them out!


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